Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
