I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
