Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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