She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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