Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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