She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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