Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
