Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
two words: eviction party
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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