That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's even glitter on my cock...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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