Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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