you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
