i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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