What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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