She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
