Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
