Sponge bath it is.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have feelings that need drinking.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
