Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
