hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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