Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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