my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
