Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
