Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
