Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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