this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
