I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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