He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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