wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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