just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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