What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
