do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
