You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
