home. puking in laundry basket.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
