if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
