did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize