You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ketchup is God's man juice
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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