i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Plan B is the new Plan A
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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