I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
