Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize