if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think my moral compass just broke
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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