his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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