If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
