Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
two words: eviction party
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
