please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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