You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
