I have demons in me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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