nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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