I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
