My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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