i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
