Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
