I just cut my nipple shaving
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
