The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
