some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
