My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
