worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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