I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
