I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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