It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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