i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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