youre lurking in front of me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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