I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
