If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my liver is dry heaving
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
